“Why Unsaved Loved Ones? What is that about?” you may be asking…..well, this blog chronicles a spiritual journey of self-reliance, determination, and BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BULLSHIT! If you’re reading this you either got here by accident when you Googled something about grandma porn or whether or not you should date that non-Christian girl (you should), you are someone who knows me and already reads this, or you clicked on some link on any number of places I have a presence on the web. I’m not going to pretend this is something other than one of the billion different attempts at expression nobody really gives a shit about. But this rifle is mine.
I started this blog right before I had gastric bypass surgery. It was just going to chronicle the day to day life changes associated with it. Well, that still comes up from time to time, but since then it has run the gambit from dieting, to fine dining, alcohol fueled rampages, my cooking, general thoughts about how much I hate the hyper-Charismatic Evangelical Fundamentalist money making movement, travel, addiction recovery……I’ve been doing this for years now and it’s all in there.
In my late teens through my early 20’s I was an Assemblies of God minister who later sang in a local rock band and managed a very popular adult bookstore……lots of adventures and things to discuss angst-wise. Pretty much everything you read here is absolutely the truth….whether it’s about my hatred of what modern American evangelical Christianity has become (morbidly obese, money and popularity driven preachers cherry-picking scripture that glosses over their hypocrisy as they hammer on things like the sin of homosexuality), or my honest to God, gut-level trip that has taken me from alcohol rehab to where I’m at now….a fucking Alcoholics Anonymous goddamn convert.
I’ve got a great life. I have a lot on my mind. I update this blog kind of infrequently because I want it to COUNT when I post….I’m admittedly one of the billion blogs nobody gives a shit about, but I generally don’t punish my readers with “Oh! My car has been acting up and my boss keeps yelling at me for being late!” horseshit. My writing will generally either tickle your dick or you’ll think I use too much profanity because I lack the skills to communicate elsewise. My FAVORITE thing is when you really take issue with some completely accurate view of Christianity that I pontificate upon….it’s just funny to me. Because you are probably pretty stupid. And definitely lazy…..I mean, get off your fat ass and go do some Great Commission work. God DID manage to exist prior to you bestowing your mongoloid gifts upon this world…your preachy Facebook status updates and Wigglesworth quotes, prayer email chains and miracle reporting blogs, you sedentary piece of shit. “On this day, God wants you to know”….that you’re a total dick. Seriously, are you reading this right now because you used GOOGLE to find out what to do with an unsaved loved one situation? Wow. Just yank the power cord and go pray or something. Now. Your lack of self awareness and insight may be irreparable. You completely invalidate the gospel. Take care of that, and then come back here and apologize to everyone. And refer to me from now on as “Daddy Sir”.
Just wanted you to know we’re thinking about you this morning. Actually, we were placing bets on whether you wussed-out over having to drink the “kool-aid;” I said yes and Nick said no. There’s an urgently fresh Campo Lindo egg on the line, so please let us know as soon as you read this;-P
Eggs are in the fridge! I’m so looking forward to that big half-an-egg I’ll be able to choke down on Monday morning. As far as the kool-aid, I downed it pretty quickly. Three hours later I was wondering when anything would actually happen, and then ka-BOOM….it was like a really noisy episode of South Park for the next five or so hours.
Hi, I think your blog is terrific — I would like to feature you on Wellsphere. Would you drop me an email?
Cheers, Geoff
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Geoffrey W. Rutledge, MD, PhD
http://www.wellsphere.com
medblog.wellsphere.com
hey jerry,
i lost your phone/email stuff in a data rapture. hook me up (& delete this reply from you blog if you want).
btw, you are sick man. very very sick.
you’re lack of consistent blogging is almost as lame as mine…and using your dog’s voice to embellish pseudo creativity – totally weak.
Noticed you are a fan of foie, if you want to give a torchon a try yourself here is a play by play. Thanks for the blog, Ryan
http://bestbyfarr.wordpress.com
Zee! Great blog man!!! I almost missed the link on your post…and I want some scalps too!
Thanks man, it has been a labor of love! But I do love this internet thing….I can say whatever the hell I want and there are at least three or four people in the world who feel entertained.
Oh man……leaving work early on August 21st to see that movie……
Zee! Love the writing, within the first paragraph I was like…I know who wrote this! Good on you for taking the bull by the horns. Keep up the writing. Sort of Bourdain-like in a way.
Oh man! Praise from Caesar, lol! If you get some time, go back and read various posts….there are a lot of them that I’m pretty proud of, lots of madness and humor, and it is definitely a work in progress. Trying to figure out how to frame the next post….which includes marriage and all that jazz……..I know, I gave up on gay marriage being legalized so I went out and found a chick……
Jerry Jerry! Dave sent me your link….love what I’ve read so far….you are a maniac..love it
Cortney aka cwonder aka Lady G.
http://www.cwonder.wordpress.com
Hey Cort, thanks for stopping in here! The blog has seen some major life changes, but there is still some good entertainment….some greatest hits are “Best Saturday Ever”, “How the Damn Gays are Ruining America”, and anything my fundamentalist dog writes. Have fun looking around, I’ll be sure and stop by your blog. Take care!
Hey Gerry, long time no read, just got back onto your site after long pause, it’s still as good as ever and I really enjoy your american humour from over here on the other side of the pond. Nice to see you’re still on here putting the world to rights, and your famed soup sounds lovely. I shall have a titter now catching up on the many months of posts I’ve missed
Hey, great to have you back! Lots of new stuff in the past year for sure…..marriage, detox, no job, new job….things are starting to level out, so without the highs and lows I pretty much write whenever I get some introspective or blasphemous thoughts that grab my attention. Hope all is well with you over there, let those BP execs know they can come and pick up some of this oil anytime, lol!
Jerry
i read your article about the 16 people supposedly raised from the dead and really enjoyed it, so i stalked your site a bit and was loving it, then i read your “about me” and i thought it was endearing and funny, that was until i read the bit where you wished rape on people. rape is NEVER funny, you’re obviously a chauvinistic fat male pig, who has no concept of what the word rape actually means and the way it destroys lives all over the world. you might be able to get gastric bypass surgery to cure your obesity, but there is no surgery that will fix the fact you are an ignorant ass. you just lost a reader.
Well, thanks for reading as much as you did and for taking the time to comment. I get way more traffic than actual comments, so it’s appreciated. I use the word “rape” in my About page for the specific reason that it is the one word that “crosses the line” with most people. The reaction you had is the reason why it’s there….if THAT freaks you out, you probably aren’t going to like the blog. Then again, if you don’t read more of my blog you won’t ever get how I play with language and how the “you should be raped” guy is a completely messed up part of my character that isn’t an accurate representation of the whole. Everyone has a trigger that sets them off…..rape, AIDS, mental retardation, 9/11, so I hear what you’re saying and I’m obviously not “pro-rape”. Everybody likes the edgy humor until it bumps up against something they think is “the line”. So I’m totally cool with being the creepy, rapey, ingorant fat ass chauvinist for you, because I got a reaction. Weird you didn’t zero in on the JonBenet thing though….that is creepy as HELL. Eeeek! He’s into child pageant celebrities! Look out!
Great blog, I just started reading but I’ll keep at it until I either have a nervous breakdown or get hungry from the food pics. I loved the response from ‘Anonymous’ a couple posts up. What kind of a chickenshit pickle uses ‘anonymous’ anyways? I can see how you get a kick out of that kind of thing. Keep up the wordsmithing, some of us are bored as hell and need stuff to read.
Thanks man! I’m always happy when someone new stops by and gets sucked in. I get so few hate comments that I’m even happy when an Anonymous person hammers me….you’d think with all of the religious yammering I’d get more of that, lol. Love it when people cannot read anything in context. Anyway, I’m going to post something in the next couple of days that links over to the eG blog, and in it I’ll re-write one passage from from the G-rated food blog with the necessary profanity and rambling.
Thanks for the comment, I do appreciate it!
Jerry