As I stated earlier, I’ve been a little concerned over my inability to feel “full”, or to figure out what it’s supposed to feel like. I generally measure out approximately 3 ounces of protein for every meal, and can eat that pretty easily. For the sake of science, last night I measured out a little over 4 ounces of cooked turbot for dinner. I definitely think I know what “full” feels like now…it hits very suddenly, is triggered by just one extra bite, and isn’t a great feeling. I definitely did not finish all of the turbot, I think I ate a little over 3 1/2 ounces before the fullness hit.
I’ve been wanting to talk to the dietician for the past several days, just to make sure I’m not doing anything wrong. On egg day, I finished my egg and thought I could eat more…while most people say they could only eat a few bites before they were full. I was concerned I was doing something wrong or already eating way too much because most of the literature tells me that a couple of tablespoons should fill me up. Within an hour or so of eating a meal, I start feeling like I’m hungry again or could eat more. BUT the tough thing to figure out is whether that’s real hunger or it’s just a mental trigger since I’ve spent a lifetime acting on every impulse to eat more food. Today when I called the dietician she put my mind at ease. Eating three ounces of protein isn’t “too much”, and “feeling full” is NOT the goal…because unlike fullness before surgery it’s no longer a pleasant experience. Most of my problem right now simply has to do with re-training my brain after eating incorrectly for the past 38 years. Anyway, it was good to figure out a boundary on my own and then hear from a professional that the amount I’m eating is very normal this close to my surgery date. In addition to re-training my eating habits, I’m going to have to learn to fill up my time with more activities. I’ve been a slacker while I’ve been healing, but now that I can drive moderate distances and walk more comfortably, I just have to get out more. School will be starting again in about six weeks, so that will definitely fill up some time, but I probably need to get back into my voice lessons and opera, and figure out some new things to pass the time that don’t involve food, drink, being sedentary, etc.
On a COMPLETELY different note…yesterday I discovered what could possibly be the most important television program in history. If you haven’t watched Bret Michaels “Rock of Love” on VH1, I cannot recommend it highly enough. It really is the lowest form, and therefore the greatest, reality programming to date. I was hoping to get out and do something yesterday afternoon, but alas, VH1 was running an all-day marathon. I knew it existed but hadn’t really watched it before yesterday, so it was all new to me….and THAT is the way to watch reality TV…all in one big chunk. That way you don’t die from suspense from week to week. Anyway, this show is amazing. From what I can tell the premise is to find a full-time whore for aging Poison frontman Bret Michaels to violate in semi-monogamous fashion for the forseeable future. I think I missed the first episode, so when I dropped in they were down to twelve contestants. Oh and these girls are pure class…there’s at least one aging stripper, a star-banging cocktail waitress with amazingly huge implants, an over the hill redneck party girl, a young Czech who doesn’t even know who Bret is, a token black girl, and a host of other blondes in their early twenties. They spend each episode drinking, fighting, and competing for dates with Bret (competitions are very rock-centric, kicking the boozy whorishness up a notch with each episode!). I’m serious, this is the most awesome trainwreck I’ve seen since I can’t remember when (and I have been off my pain meds for almost a week, so this isn’t like my Spongebob obsession when I had my kidney stone), and the formulaic reality tv editing keeps you guessing….oh WHO will Bret give those backstage passes to this week and ask “will you continue to stay in this house and rock my world”? Absolute genius. Even better than a weekend of stepped on smack and a non-stop screening of Berlin Alexanderplatz.