Okay, this is just some self-indulgent crap, but is everyone familiar with those ANNOYING goddamn yogurt commercials with the two women (one of whom looks strangely cartoonish with her elfin hair) who sit there going “this is (something something something) good” and then the other one goes “oh, this is (something SOMETHING) good”? I’ve always hated those commercials, and thought they were a thing of the past…..and then a few weeks ago I started noticing them again. I’ve had this running joke for years, and it goes something like this (I’ll keep adding to it as I think of random inappropriate scenarios)…….and by all means, feel free to add along in the comments…..
“OH! This is burning this bridesmaid dress good!”
“It’s girls-only weekend in Vegas good!”
“THIS yogurt is ‘the holocaust was a lie’ good!”
“It’s daddy-drank good!”
“Exactly! It’s looking down into the cistern and seeing a child’s eyes staring back at you good!”
“It’s finding a sale on quicklime good!”
“You know what? It’s champagne enema good!”
“WELL I THINK it’s cranberry juice wiping out your UTI after a weekend of unprotected monkey sex good!”
“It’s farting in the elevator right before you walk out of it good!”
“It’s lying about your father molesting you to get even with him for grounding you good!”
“YES! And it’s laughing in your ex’s face for ending up with a woman with cankles good!”
“It’s smuggling white slaves into the country in shipping containers to fund your drug habit good!”
“It’s easy on your weakened tweaker-teeth good!”
“Whee! It’s taking a dump in the changing room good!”
“POST-DEFECATION EUPHORIA GOOD!”
“It’s good old fashioned hate crime good!”
“It’s finding that girl who bought the swimsuit you wanted and burning that bitch’s face with ACID good!”
“It’s boning your husband’s amputee brother good!”
“It’s meddling with your grandmother’s medication so that she ends up in a home good!”
“Tell me about it! It’s pushing a retarded kid into your rose bushes and pretending to rescue him good!”
“Tainted hamburger good!”
“Sneezing in your family’s pot of chili good!”
“Funding the Taliban good!”
“Strangling an old person ’till you smell poo good!”
“EEEEE! YES! Driving while you do whippits good!”
“Running over construction workers in a reduced speed workzone good!”
“Leaving empty plastic dry cleaning bags all over the playground good!”
“Poisoning homeless people at the soup kitchen good!”
“YES! Hitting a cyclist with your car door good!”
“Lying about being pregnant so that YOU get to choose where to vacation good!”
“OH! Dipping your baby nephew’s teething ring in chipotle powder good!”
To be continued…….
Unsaved Loved Ones 
